The art of being friendly

I am probably one of the least friendly people on the planet. I've been thinking about this tragic flaw of mine lately and I've come up with the reasoning behind it. I'm sure all of you have––at least at some point in your life––felt pressured to fit into the little box society has set aside for you. Society has made me believe that a teenage girl should be agreeable, kind, sweet, nurturing, that a girl who speaks out and voices her opinions is rude or arrogant or "has to be a lesbian".

This box may seem trivial, and of course it is compared to the gender inequalities that people face elsewhere in the world, but my mom always told me––and I firmly believe that––you can't judge other people unless you are perfect. In Canada, every man, woman, and child of every gender, religion, ethnicity, and sexual orientation has equal rights. But it isn’t what is written in the Constitution that gives us equality; it is the way we perceive one another. How can we preach equality when we have stopped trying to master it in our own country?

But I'm digressing. My point is, like most people, I do not fit into the box society has made for me. Although I have many typically feminine tendencies, I always have a strong opinion to voice, I love playing aggressive sports, I have a witty sense of humour, and I am blunt. These qualities are at the very centre of my being, and yet I hide them from people at first for fear of judgement. Because I don't let myself be myself around new people, but I also don't know how to be anyone else, I end up going almost completely silent. The other day, I was out on date kind of thing with a boy, and I found myself acting completely unlike myself. Whenever he asked what I wanted to do, rather than being honest, I pretended not to mind, so I would seem agreeable. I answered his questions politely, but rarely elaborated, and asked him questions back. In the end, I just didn't talk very much and we didn't have very good conversation. Looking back, I am disgusted with myself.

People in general need to accept who they are more and show their wonderfully complex selves off to the world. Although the boxes society puts us in are roomier than they were in the past, we need to get rid of the boxes once and for all. Humanity's fixation on order and classifying people is quite frankly ridiculous and stupid. If we all try to be openminded about ourselves and other people perhaps we can provoke others to do the same.