Monsters
Monsters are everywhere. They live under our beds and
in our closets. They are the cause of every windowpane rustling and all old,
wooden floorboards creaking. Just the thought of them sends us sprinting up the
stairs at night because we know they attack when our backs are turned. Monsters
pose a very serious threat, and it is
imperative for us to be able to detect them.
We have to be careful because many
monsters have the ability to appear in forms that do not immediately trigger
our sense of fear. The Camouflage monster looks like a regular human being and
puts on a façade that makes it appear benevolent. There was a horrible news
story a few months back about a little girl who was selling lemonade. A young
man stopped his car to tell her she had the best stand he’d ever seen. After
chatting for a few minutes, he asked her to bring him a cup, so she pattered
over to his car and exchanged a glass of her best lemonade for a dollar fifty. While
she was busy tucking it away in her little purse, his fangs came out, targeting
the thumping artery on the side of her neck. She barely survived the attack. Staying
safe from Camouflage Monsters means playing everything
safe––don’t trust strangers!
A particularly tricky type of
monster to detect is the Female Monster. Now,
although it is scientifically proven that the ratio of female to male monsters
is one to four, Female Monsters still pose a big threat. In fact, it may be due
to their rarity that they are so dangerous: we aren’t able to see them for what
they are. But trust me, Female Monsters exist. My male friend and I heard a
Siren sing at an open-jam bar a few years ago. To me, she seemed a little odd
right from the start, but the moment my friend heard her voice, he was
transfixed. Apparently every other man in the room was too because they all crowded
around her after the show, nearly trampling each other to reach her. Luckily,
she didn’t pick my friend because the man she did pick was found dead the next
morning. Be skeptical of all women––they
are not all as kind as they appear!
Perhaps the most frightening monster
of all is the Parasite Monster. These are the conniving beasts that mess with
our brains and blur the lines of good and evil. They are invisible spirits like
Poltergeists and Ghosts that inhabit and control the bodies of our friends and
family members. Clouded with love for our kin, we are neither able to process
that what they are doing is wrong nor that they are not really themselves. Victims
of these monsters often suffer serious psychological damage because they lose
the ability to identify between right and wrong. This lack of conscience
frequently turns the victims into monsters themselves, and just as they did not
see the true nature of their loved ones, they do not see their own wickedness
when they look in mirror. They proceed to turn more humans into monsters, who go
on create more monsters, and the endless cycle of Monsterhood continues. Even
those we know and love best can be a danger to us; to ensure our safety, we
must question their every move.
Sporadic Monsters are unpredictable
beings: they are humans one moment and savage beasts the next. The most typical
example of a Sporadic Monster is the highly irritable Werewolf. Werewolves change
at every full moon, but are also known to transform on impulse when angered. A
woman I know is married to a Werewolf, and the stories she tells me are heart
wrenching. One night close to the full moon, she felt bloated and couldn’t make
dinner. When her husband came home to find her lying in bed with a hot water
bottle, thick hair started sprouting out of his hands, face, and chest. Try as
she did, calming him was nearly impossible around the full moon. She had to
wear long sleeves all week to cover the claw marks. To avoid a situation like
hers, it is imperative for us to remember that seemingly nice people can turn
into monsters in a flash––flee at the first sign of aggression or anger!
The easiest monster to identify––though it is in no
way the least dangerous––is the Classic Monster. Although all Classic Monsters
have a vague humanoid shape, they are as disfigured and frightening as we
expect monsters to be. When we see them, our human instincts send pricks of
what feels like broken glass up our spines. They are the Trolls we know will appear when we try to cross a
bridge and the Witches we know we
will meet if we enter a cottage in the middle of the forest. The best way to
avoid these monsters is to stay away from the unsafe areas where they are known
to dwell.
Though our intuitions can help us
identify Classic Monsters, our instincts are not always correct. Fake Monsters,
beings that look like monsters but are not monsters at all, frequently trick us.
They look different than us and they give us bad vibes, but they are perfectly
nice creatures. Many mistake grotesque, wart-ridden Brownies for Classic
Monsters when they are in reality benign creatures. This common misconception
has led people to attack Brownies, suspecting that they are up to no good. Unfortunately,
when provoked, Brownies morph into wicked Boggarts, becoming the very monsters
people expected them to be. We must not assume that any creature is a monster
no matter how unsettling we find his or her appearance; these assumptions often
create even more monsters for us to fear.
When we race up the stairs at night, we think we’re
outsmarting the supposed monster lurking in the shadows. Little do we know,
something much worse is waiting for us at the top step. When we race up the
stairs at night, we are running straight into the trap of the worst monster of
all: Fear.
